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i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick

title | my heart is yours (it's you that i hold on to)
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg
characters/pairings | Blair. Dan. Dan/Blair (lol sort of I guess), Chuck/Blair
summary | Post 5x24. WHATEVER AT THIS SHOW.
notes | Are you happy, show? YOU'VE FINALLY BROKEN ME. This will probably be my last GG fic - I have lots of unfinished stuff but I hate this show and I probably won't ever find the inspiration to finish them. I wrote this in like an hour and a half so it probably sucks. It was mostly for me to rationalize this schmuck-ass show. CAN WE HAVE A CIVLIZATION!


or good fucking riddance gossip girl )
 
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
19 March 2012 @ 02:55 am

title | someday (my pain will mark you)
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan, Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck, Jenny. Dan/Blair, Chuck/Blair, Nate/Serena
summary | This is how each of them wins the Hunger Games (and how each of them loses). Set in the Hunger Games universe. 

or how the odds were never going to be in their favor )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick

title | the kind of reckless that should send me running
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Blair-centric. Dan/ Blair
summary |  She hates everything about him.
notes | This is just mindless fluff. Like, don't even look for anything even remotely affecting here. Writing current canon makes me want to shoot myself, so this is set in an AU world post 4x17 where the prince and the pregnancy don't exist. I also don't think I mention Chuck once, so pretend he's gone to Iowa to be a potato farmer or something and no one cares about him anymore. AS THEY SHOULDN'T.

or how blair waldorf doesn't hate dan humphrey, not even a little bit, not even close, not even at all )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick

title | can't find the words to write this song
chapter | 4/4
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan-centric. Dan/Blair
summary | "Waldorf, what do you want? It's 4am over here." Season 5 speculation.
notes | Okay, WHAT IS LIFE, this thing has been sitting on my computer for months and I've constantly been trying to edit it because it came out all weird. I finally thought 'what the hell' and decided to post it because it's been so long and it probably isn't going to get better. I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, it's super disjointed and could probably be like three separate chapters (fuck, it could probably be three separate stories), but ya'll are probably sick of me constantly extending the chapters - I know I am. So, I'm sorry if this is super underwhelming, but my inspiration has been gone for this fic for a while now, and this is the best I got.

or how to get over blair waldorf in a single summer )
 
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
24 July 2011 @ 11:44 pm
title | if ever your world comes crashing down
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Blair-centric. Dan/ Blair, Chuck/Blair
summary |  Chuck gives her the world; Dan gives her his heart.
notes | This is the weirdest, most bizarre, most pretentious thing I've ever written, but I sat down and forced myself to write and this is what came out. I swear the story was vaguely relevant to the prompt when I started writing. For the July 2011 challenge at [info]daretodair

or that time i got super pretentious and thought i was ee cummings )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick

title | can't find the words to write this song 
chapter | 3/4
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan-centric, Dan/Blair
summary | "Waldorf, what do you want? It's 4am over here." Season 5 speculation.
notes | This is just getting longer and longer, I'm so sorry! D: But the next chapter is definitely the last one. And by definitely, I mean probably.

or how to get over blair waldorf in a single summer )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
title | can't find the words to write this song
chapter | 2/4
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan-centric, Dan/Blair
summary | "Waldorf, what do you want? It's 4am over here." Season 5 speculation.

or how to get over blair waldorf in a single summer )
 
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
title | can't find the words to write this song
chapter | 1/4
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan-centric, Dan/Blair
summary | "Waldorf, what do you want? It's 4am over here." Season 5 speculation.

or how to get over blair waldorf in a single summer )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
title | i have so many scars, but you have such a smile
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg-13
characters/pairings | Dan/Blair, Serena/Nate if you squint
summary | He watches her leave him again and it absolutely should not hurt this much when it's happened so many times before.

or why dan humphrey wishes he were gay )
 
 
i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick
21 April 2011 @ 11:36 am
title | i wanna walk with you on a cloudy day
chapter | 1/1
rating | pg
characters/pairings | Dan/Blair, Serena/Nate if you squint
summary | "Blair Waldorf," he says. "Are you sneak moving in?"

or how blair waldorf moves to brooklyn )